Meeting With Destiny

I am not sure if I am going to continue with this blog. I started it back in 2005 as a new start, coinciding with my new found friendship and hence, new found joy. In retrospect, it has become predominantly a documentation of the ups and downs of that friendship. If it were a film, this particular documentary would be complete. There's nothing more to say.

That, of course, means there's never been more to say. But for now, all I can bring myself to say is thank you, God, for Mary's honesty. Thank you for the closure. Thank you for SAVING her, despite what unbearable sacrifices that means I have to accept. You gave me what I wished for, and they always say be careful what you wish for.

Another thing they always say is that when one door closes, another opens. Thank you, God, that for once in my life this has become instantly and undeniably true in the most magnificent way...

It Is Written

...And in a bizarre turn of events, I am going to Miami.

Like...now.

Not to see Mary though.

I am going to Miami to see Carmit.

I will be seeing Mary, but I am not going to see Mary.

While I still wouldn't put money on which of the two I think I'll see more of, I will say that the severe anxiousness I feel about seeing each of them, neutralizes the severe anxiousness I feel about seeing each of them.

And that's a good thing, right?

I knew something had to give. When there's a drought there's a serious drought, but when it rains, it pours.

I am off to meet my destiny.

Hard

It's hard to believe that I didn't matter to her.

But it's even harder to believe that I did.

EMMYs

Yo 30 Rock, I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish but The Office is one of the best tv shows of all time. ONE OF THE BEST TV SHOWS OF ALL TIME!

Time Loop

Sometimes I wonder if 2008 actually happened...

VMAs

I understand why Madonna's speech made me tear up, especially the line about how when you never get to have something, you become obsessed by it.

But then why did Lady Gaga's performance send me into a hysterical crying fit?

And Beyonce, oh Beyonce, bless your heart.

The Concept of Summer

Summer is a concept, not a season or a series of months. It is the brief but idyllically blissful time of year when the sun shines at its brightest, creating a peak desire to live and feel alive, hearts filled with the joy of doing the things that bring the highest high, with the people you love the most. Every year has a June, July and August, but not every year has a summer. In May of this year, I came to accept that 2009 would most likely not have a summer, and being accepting of and prepared for that has enabled me to survive without a breakdown. Sure, there's been hysterical crying fit upon hysterical crying fit, but not once did they have anything to do with summer wasting away or not being able to enjoy or even have a summer this year. I was already prepared for that; I had already let go. My tears then, are pure and uncomplicated. I simply cry because of what's going on—or not going on.

Buying Happiness

"...purchasing life experiences often brings someone closer to another person and satisfies a natural human need to be connected to others."

—HealthDay